You can't say bangs on a plane! bang, b-bang, bang!

I believe the worst part of being a child from the 80s-90s is the fact that whether you are male, or female, you probably had bangs. It's the most atrocious haircut I've ever experienced first-hand in my life. Bangs just aren't cool. Now that we are older, there are people who try to bring the bangs back. I'm sorry, it just isn't happening. That trend died for a reason.

When I was little, I had a bad case of the bangs, actually, I had a bad case of the bangs for about 16 years of my life. I was a strange child. I ate spiders, had to have constant access to my belly button, and was deathly afraid of getting my haircut by strangers. So, my mother, in an attempt to avoid traumatizing her daughter, would cut my hair herself, which ultimately, resulted in me having the worst haircut in the history of the world. My bangs were always crooked and went all the way back to my ears. About 95% of my hair was comprised of bangs.

I look back at photos of myself when I was little, and I wonder what people thought of my hair. "Oh, that poor little girl. Her mother mustn't be able to afford to get her a decent haircut." Which, in all reality, was relatively true, considering my father was a full-time student in college until I was four or five and my mother stayed at home with me. Hm...I never thought about that. It explains so much!

But, what I will never understand, is why I kept the bang-train rolling and never decided to grow my bangs out, or why my mother never decided to grow my bangs out when I was in elementary school. I must've liked them, or maybe I was too lazy. I'm going to go with lazy.

I remember trying to grow them out, but it was annoying. They'd get long and always be in my face and in my eyes, so I'd give in and get another haircut and be back at square one. Finally, when I was approximately 16 or 17 years old. I decided enough was enough. I already sounded like I was 12 and looked like I was 12. I didn't need the haircut to top it off.

So, the growing out process commenced. And within a 6 month time, I was bang-free...well, not totally, I rock the side-bang now, but it's much more acceptable.

I swear to myself I will never, ever let my daughter have bangs. Not even if they become cool again. When my daughter's hair starts to grow when she's a baby I will use every barrett, bow or bobby-pin possible to avoid getting lazy and just resorting to bangs. I will have bang-free toddlers. I will bet my life on it.

And that, my friends, is the story of the bangs that never should have been.