Awkward Turtle

I had a many of a kind awkward turtle experience today.

For those who have been living under a rock and have no idea what I'm talking about. Let us inquire with the always truthful and factual source of information, Urban Dictionary.

1.) The animal mascot of an awkward moment.
Example: Oh my god, so I was talking to Becky about STDs and I forgot she had syphillis... it was mad awkward turtle

I didn't even make that amazing example of usage up, they gave that too me. Really. That's how amazing the urban dictionary is. So, if you aren't already on the wagon, I suggest you jump on.

Anyway, back to the point of this entry. I was at work today, and this boy I graduated with from high school comes in to the store, with who I would assume to be his girlfriend. I help her find some bras and get her into a fitting room. Then, from behind me I hear... "Don't you recognize me?"

Shit. This is already awkward and I haven't even turned around yet. Of course, the first thought to run through my mind is "Liz, you know you're not going to have the slightest idea who this person is, so try your best to pretend that you do."

Thankfully, when I turn around, I immediately recognize him and, praise the lord, I even remember his name! I had been so preoccupied helping his girlfriend, I didn't even look at the poor soul of a boyfriend who had to carry all her bags on her shopping adventure.

So, as I said, this boy went to high school with me. We weren't really even friends. He was friends with my ex boyfriend from...oh, 8th grade? and since then, I probably hadn't said more than 10 sentences to him.

Apparently, he was really up for some conversation and catching up. What made it even more awkward was the fact I was working the fitting room, so I couldn't have the usual awkward convo escape of "Oh, shucks. Look at the time! I got to go! BYEEE!" and he was stuck there as well, waiting patiently for his girlfriend to finish in the fitting room.

The conversation covered the basics. How is school? where do you go? How long have you worked here? When do your classes start? What is your major? Where do you want to move when you graduate?

So stereotypical. I probably could have scripted the entire conversation out before it even happened. And that same awkward conversation script could be used for every single encounter I have with a Shaler class of 2006 graduate, who I really didn't know that well, but for some reason wants to pretend to catch up.

Furthermore, the conversation was made even more awkward with periods of silence with nothing to say, not being able to understand what the other is asking, and the moment the girlfriend walks out of the fitting room and gives me funny looks for talking with her boyfriend the entire time she was in the fitting room.

But, then when I got home and attempted to google image "awkward turtle" for this post, I realized, that situation wasn't even that bad. There are things in this world that are far, far more awkward. And the term "awkward turtle" can be taken to a very literal, real level.



Now, ladies and gentlemen, THAT is an awkward turtle(s).