saggy boobies

Oh, if only I were kidding with that above image. That's really what it's like. Even more so, because I actually took that pic of myself while I was working and right after an uncomfortable experience like the one recreated by my artistic talent.

But, although it is kind of gross and awkward sometimes, victoria's secret is probably not that bad of a place to work as far as retail goes. What industry in retail has the potential to be more awkwardly hilarious than lingerie and see-through crotchless panties? None, my friend. Oh the stories those panties would tell if panties could talk...

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What has been apparent to me for some time now, is that being eco-friendly is trendy. I don't think I really like it. I'm all for saving the environment and efforts to keep our planet alive, but it's gotten to the point where it's the "cool" thing to do. And if you ask me, we should be doing it even if it isn't cool. I just want to know if people are being eco-concious because they care or they think it's the next trendy thing to do. What happens in 5 years when people are tired of wearing their keep it green t-shirts and carrying around their organic cotton shopping bags?

But, I guess it doesn't matter why they do it, right? As long as it gets done. If my air is cleaner and the world is a better place, what do I care if it's only due to trendy yuppies rather than actual concerned citizens?

Let's just hope this trend keeps treading.

As for myself, I've been green for sometime now. For example, this is me when I was out later today. I'm keepin' it green on the streets. I'm doing my part by driving one of the smallest cars known to man, while other assholes drive unnecessarily large Hummers. Even the color of my car supports the cause. I'm Green 4 Life yo...or until my car becomes too old and its time for a newbie.



No, but for real. Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, not because it's what's in, but because you want there to be a place for your great grand kids to live someday without being inside a bubble like the bubble boy. Because that would only be sweet for maybe an hour, and then that crap would suck.

Aruba, Bahama, come on pretty mama :)

Ray and I are going to Aruba! Yay! July 11-18!
It's going to probably be the most amazing trip in the history of trips.

I know you are jealous. It was going to be with more people, but lizzy will now be visiting derek while he's studying in germany and lauren doesn't know where she will be this summer because of her internship.

But, I'm still open to anyone tagging along if they want! Our place sleeps 6, so the more the merrier.

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In other news, I worked today for 1.5 hours. I had an on-call shift 12-6, was awaken by my manager calling at 9 a.m., asking if I could work 10:30-2 instead. So, I woke up, went to work and was sent home.

Thanks for nothing Victoria's Secret. Thanks for nothing.

I'm off tomorrow, which doesn't mean much, because I usually am having a day off from work. I've made a wopping total of MAYBE $350 this break. What a waste of time.

Last night I watched Ferris Bueller's Day Off at Brandon's house and realized that my boyfriend is the modern day version of Ferris Bueller.

If I had to imagine a high school version of Ray, it'd strongly resemble this beloved 80's character.

I know this post is immediately after my previous one, but this one I attempted to post before and well, it just didn't work. I found it in my drafts and decided to try posting it again, and here it is!

Craigslist- m4w

So, in my spare time I enjoy looking through the personal ads on Craigslist, and although I'm technically not on the market, I found some possible suiters. However, one young gentleman has stolen my heart.

Looking for Slave Girl to Collar- 28 (Pittsburgh)
I am an attractive, successful man who enjoys teaching the right woman how to submit her will to her master toward the ultimate goal of becoming her Lord's perfect slave.

I would love to meet the right young lady who wishes to explore her boundaries and push beyond them. Who is willing to learn how to submit and is interested in eventually moving from a consensual power exchange to a total power exchange relationship through the appropriate slave training.

If this interests you, you may email me and introduce yourself. Let's see how it goes from there.


I'm so in! Where do I sign up!??!?!

But, after I thought I found my prince charming, I found this lovely gentleman and I wasn't so sure anymore....

Piece of my rock hard cock- 35 (Brentwood)

Are you looking for a great piece of reality.Come on over for some rock hard goodness.I do not ever dissapoint.Check it out if you are hot,slender and love to engage in oral.You should have a great ass and at least a dozen different g strings and thongs.Leave a number.

Sounds HOTT.

And I promise this is the last one, because, well, you know that checklist you make when thinking about the characteristics of Mr. Right? Well, this guy fits the bill.

R U a Co*K Loving C*M crazed SL*T? Look here... - m4w - 36 (Lower Burrell )
for your next hot willing cock... I am a single WHITE male aged 36 living in the Lower Burrell area of Western PA... I seek the company for a woman of LEGAL age (18-50) that enjoys nothing more than stroking, licking, and SUCKING to completion, a nice warm throbbing cock... Heres the situation... I have had several women that tell me that they were really good at sucking cock, even one said that she could make me CUM in 2 minutes... thing is not one single woman has done so... I usually end up having to j/o myself, however most of them were good girls who knelt there and waited for me to give them my hot load on their face and lips... I have yet to find a woman that is true to her word, in being a "good" cock loving CUM crazed slut that will be ale to get me off... So are you or do you know of any ladies that really are as good as they say they are... Hmmmm Please let me know... If can make me CUM like you say you will be able to, I just might give your pussy a tongue lashing (in which I absolutely LOVE doing), that you wont forget... R U Game? Contact me ASAP... I hope to hear from you (Cock loving CUM crazed lil slut)!

OK, so in reality, after reading that, I was more scarred for life than anything else.

Maybe I will just keep the boyfriend I have after all. Craigslist makes it seem like good guys are truly a rare find. I better hold onto mine for dear life.

Awkward Turtle

I had a many of a kind awkward turtle experience today.

For those who have been living under a rock and have no idea what I'm talking about. Let us inquire with the always truthful and factual source of information, Urban Dictionary.

1.) The animal mascot of an awkward moment.
Example: Oh my god, so I was talking to Becky about STDs and I forgot she had syphillis... it was mad awkward turtle

I didn't even make that amazing example of usage up, they gave that too me. Really. That's how amazing the urban dictionary is. So, if you aren't already on the wagon, I suggest you jump on.

Anyway, back to the point of this entry. I was at work today, and this boy I graduated with from high school comes in to the store, with who I would assume to be his girlfriend. I help her find some bras and get her into a fitting room. Then, from behind me I hear... "Don't you recognize me?"

Shit. This is already awkward and I haven't even turned around yet. Of course, the first thought to run through my mind is "Liz, you know you're not going to have the slightest idea who this person is, so try your best to pretend that you do."

Thankfully, when I turn around, I immediately recognize him and, praise the lord, I even remember his name! I had been so preoccupied helping his girlfriend, I didn't even look at the poor soul of a boyfriend who had to carry all her bags on her shopping adventure.

So, as I said, this boy went to high school with me. We weren't really even friends. He was friends with my ex boyfriend from...oh, 8th grade? and since then, I probably hadn't said more than 10 sentences to him.

Apparently, he was really up for some conversation and catching up. What made it even more awkward was the fact I was working the fitting room, so I couldn't have the usual awkward convo escape of "Oh, shucks. Look at the time! I got to go! BYEEE!" and he was stuck there as well, waiting patiently for his girlfriend to finish in the fitting room.

The conversation covered the basics. How is school? where do you go? How long have you worked here? When do your classes start? What is your major? Where do you want to move when you graduate?

So stereotypical. I probably could have scripted the entire conversation out before it even happened. And that same awkward conversation script could be used for every single encounter I have with a Shaler class of 2006 graduate, who I really didn't know that well, but for some reason wants to pretend to catch up.

Furthermore, the conversation was made even more awkward with periods of silence with nothing to say, not being able to understand what the other is asking, and the moment the girlfriend walks out of the fitting room and gives me funny looks for talking with her boyfriend the entire time she was in the fitting room.

But, then when I got home and attempted to google image "awkward turtle" for this post, I realized, that situation wasn't even that bad. There are things in this world that are far, far more awkward. And the term "awkward turtle" can be taken to a very literal, real level.



Now, ladies and gentlemen, THAT is an awkward turtle(s).

I made a discovery

I just spent the last half hour reading xkcd webcomics and am in love. Thank you digg for this find.
Here are a few of my favorites.











And I could keep going with this because, to be honest, nearly every one i read was my favorite. This should be a sufficient sampling though.

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In other news, I love how when managers don't use your on-call shifts, they act like they are doing something nice for you.
Me: Hi, LJ. It's Liz. I was just calling to see if you needed my on-call shift today.
LJ: You know what, Liz? Go ahead and have the day off!

What? Oh thanks... I guess. I'm only scheduled 4 hours this week and I was really hoping to keep it that way.

WhatEV.

In other related work news, there was an associate offer to get two $68 bras for $25. Of course I was all for that. The bra is pretty basic and comfortable, however the reason it is $68 is because it's supposed to firm your bust after 4 weeks of wearing it, with "complete rejuvenation" after 8 weeks. I'm sorry, a bra can do some amazing things for a woman, but actually changing the firmness of her chest area, is not one of them.

Yesterday was a family trip to my aunt's house. She lives an hour away in Butler. My Aunt LOVES games. Not that I don't like playing games with the family, but we play Pictionary, girls vs boys. Granted, this would be fine if my mother and my aunt weren't completely scatterbrained, and my dad and uncle weren't college educated geniuses.

My brother, of course, was his usual asshole self for this gathering. It's nice to see he doesn't pretend to be a nice, young gentlemen for anyone. He keeps it real. My cousin christina picked up the word "hanger," so Obv, she draws a hanger and we guess it right away. Then my brother has to of course say "I would have guessed abortion." My mother was, of course, appalled.

WHAT. REALLY. gah. So unnecessary. Yet, I guess also kind of hilarious if you ignore how gross it really is.

And that is all I will write for today, children. Until next time.

ahahaha

Cop mistakes penis for gun - Watch more Free Videos

THE ray miles

That's right. THE Ray Miles was here. He arrived Tuesday evening and I'm sad to say he just left a little over an hour ago.

On Tuesday night we went to wing night with some of my friends and then went to see "Yes Man" at The Mills. It wasn't really how I expected it to be, which was probably for the best because I wasn't expecting much. I thought it was pretty funny.

On New Years Eve, we attempted to find a salvation army store downtown. The mission failed miserably. We ended up at the Good Will on McKnight Rd. Ray ended up purchasing a plaid winter vest. It was a good find. We also went up to Ross Park Mall and found an interesting machine-type thing which we believe is supposed to help with your posture, but who knows if thats right. Here's the video below.



Afterwards, we went to try to find him some shoes at Burlington, but had no luck. All of this was just filler while we waited for the half price appetizers at Apple Bee's. And it was worth the wait, because it was amazing.

Then, we went home and took a much needed nap. It was so nice to get to snuggle up with him for those couple days. I don't think it gets any better. We then went to a party at my friend Tim's house. Um, it was an okay party I guess. As good as a party can get. It was nice to see familiar faces. But at the same time, most of the people there I wouldn't consider true friends. Just people I hang out with during the summer because no one better is around.

We stayed for maybe an hour and left for a party at my neighbor's house. I liked the party at my neighbor's much better. I probably should of just said forget the friends and hung out there the whole time instead.

I got my kiss at midnight... twice, because my mother wanted to catch it with the camera and forget to take the lens cap off.


New Years Day, we went to my gram's for dinner. Then we decided to go on a little adventure for a coffee shop with wifi and ended up getting sushi in the South Side. We then took a walk around the Point and froze to death. Then, we went home for awhile and Ray decided he needed some more half price appetizers so we went to Apple Bee's for round two and it was a great decision.

Then, this morning we were going to go to the museum, but instead, slept in. We decided we'd save the museum for another day.

It was so nice to finally get to see him again and I was sad to see him have to leave. Thankfully, we'll both be back at SRU next weekend, so it won't be long until I get to see him again!

I don't want to get too mushy on here, but I'm thankful for every day I get to spend with him. He just brings so much into my life, and now that he's such a major part of it, I don't know what I'd ever do without him.

So, I'm starting the new year with an amazing relationship, I'll be Rocket free, I have a new internship, and I'm going to try to learn a thing or two from Ray and become more confident in myself and the things I do. And I'm going to try not to stress about things as much.

Sounds like 2009 may shape up to be quite the year.