Hey yo.
So, as of May 28, I am no longer a member of the single world. What are my feeling on this? Well, considering my extremely pessimistic thoughts on relationships and boys all throughout the spring semester, i see this as huge, major breakthrough. One I am very happy and excited for. The only downside is the seperation issue that will be going on throughout the summer. I'll see him at the end of June when he comes home from an internship, and then most likely July 17th (i think?) when Lizzy and I and some other people go up to Canada. But any other times I see him are up in the air as of now. I'll probably see him atleast once when I go with Lizzy to Derek's lake house in NY. Its going to be more than rough, I'm sure. But its not like he'd have anything to worry about. The only people in Shaler I talk to are huge potheads or possibly alcoholics. Yeah, I know why do I hang out with them? Well, when I was friends with them in high school they weren't like that, but now they're kind of all I have when I'm home.
But anyway, I guess we'll figure something out and until then I'll just miss him like crazy :(
Friday, May 30, 2008
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Hey Hey Hey
Hello hello. I'm not really sure what I want to write about so lets just go with the flow of things and see where it takes me?
But anyway, on Tuesday i went to eat n park with Lauren and then we came back to my house and watched the movie Dan in Real Life. It didn't exactly have the kind of humor I thought it would, but it was good nonetheless. Every time Lauren and I hang out it seems like we have so much talking to do because we have to catch up on all those months during school where we didn't see eachother. When I'm home, she's basically the only close friend I have, which is kind of sad. I just didn't get close to many people in high school. I kind of switched around my friends a lot, I had trouble finding a place I belonged really. I kind of just hung out with and talked to a lot of random people. I didn't find anyone I really clicked with until i went to college.
So next week at work I only got scheduled 12-14 hours. Can someone please tell me how that happens? How do you go from 28 hours one week to 12 the next. That place will never make sense to me.
I've been thinking about getting a second job, but my goal of this summer was recovery, because the spring semester was just so awful, honestly some of the worst months I've ever had. I've never been so stressed, depressed and tired in all my life.
HOWEVER, despite how bad the semester was, ever since I've been home things have been so much better. Things actually started to get better near the end of April. I decided that I can't let the bad things that happen to me in my life get the best of me. I started eating better, I started going to the gym every day and making a conscious effort to get better. And by george its worked. I feel better than I have in the longest time. And come August I'm going to be ready to go back and get into the swing of things! :D
Not to mention there are a lot of things I have to be happy about right now in my life. I'm just so glad that things are starting to turn themselves right.
"After all these things I've learned
bad things I do and don't deserve
can easily just shape my life
or shape the way I start to die.
No, cause it's up to me
if I dwell much longer than I should
and I'll hold my tears for years thinkin' it's doing me good
so just start right now, just make a vow, you'll let your heart just sing it out, sing it out.
And show me everything you've gotI know you're scared
But let your walls just drop
You gotta take that step, and your heart, just let it pour out."
-The Rocket Summer
But anyway, on Tuesday i went to eat n park with Lauren and then we came back to my house and watched the movie Dan in Real Life. It didn't exactly have the kind of humor I thought it would, but it was good nonetheless. Every time Lauren and I hang out it seems like we have so much talking to do because we have to catch up on all those months during school where we didn't see eachother. When I'm home, she's basically the only close friend I have, which is kind of sad. I just didn't get close to many people in high school. I kind of switched around my friends a lot, I had trouble finding a place I belonged really. I kind of just hung out with and talked to a lot of random people. I didn't find anyone I really clicked with until i went to college.
So next week at work I only got scheduled 12-14 hours. Can someone please tell me how that happens? How do you go from 28 hours one week to 12 the next. That place will never make sense to me.
I've been thinking about getting a second job, but my goal of this summer was recovery, because the spring semester was just so awful, honestly some of the worst months I've ever had. I've never been so stressed, depressed and tired in all my life.
HOWEVER, despite how bad the semester was, ever since I've been home things have been so much better. Things actually started to get better near the end of April. I decided that I can't let the bad things that happen to me in my life get the best of me. I started eating better, I started going to the gym every day and making a conscious effort to get better. And by george its worked. I feel better than I have in the longest time. And come August I'm going to be ready to go back and get into the swing of things! :D
Not to mention there are a lot of things I have to be happy about right now in my life. I'm just so glad that things are starting to turn themselves right.
"After all these things I've learned
bad things I do and don't deserve
can easily just shape my life
or shape the way I start to die.
No, cause it's up to me
if I dwell much longer than I should
and I'll hold my tears for years thinkin' it's doing me good
so just start right now, just make a vow, you'll let your heart just sing it out, sing it out.
And show me everything you've gotI know you're scared
But let your walls just drop
You gotta take that step, and your heart, just let it pour out."
-The Rocket Summer
Sunday, May 18, 2008
May 18
So, this post will most likely be a shorty, but we'll see.
Today i went into work thinking I'd be there for a 4 hour shift and ended up being there for 9 hours. Yeah, not entirely sure how that happened, but to be honest, it wasn't really that bad.
After work on Tuesday Im going to dinner with Lauren. This makes me happy. Im not sure where we're going to go, but probably somewhere cheap because i'm poor untill i get paid on friday.
So, how about I'm really really excited to go see Julie and Andrea in Fayetteville, NC next month. I miss them so much. I haven't seen them for two years! I think we're going to drive to myrtle one day when I'm there, I love the beach!! :D
Ok so I told you this one would be short and I'm not going to let you call me a liar, so I'm done. Thats all I have to say for today :)
Today i went into work thinking I'd be there for a 4 hour shift and ended up being there for 9 hours. Yeah, not entirely sure how that happened, but to be honest, it wasn't really that bad.
After work on Tuesday Im going to dinner with Lauren. This makes me happy. Im not sure where we're going to go, but probably somewhere cheap because i'm poor untill i get paid on friday.
So, how about I'm really really excited to go see Julie and Andrea in Fayetteville, NC next month. I miss them so much. I haven't seen them for two years! I think we're going to drive to myrtle one day when I'm there, I love the beach!! :D
Ok so I told you this one would be short and I'm not going to let you call me a liar, so I'm done. Thats all I have to say for today :)
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Work, work, work
OK. so here who go entry 2.
Hm... So, I had quite an eventful friday at work. It all started when these two girls came in who apparently are frequent shoplifters, so lucky me, the CSL of the segment, Kate, decides she'll have me stalk them around the store so they don't take anything. I guess the one girl kind of caught on to me, well I know she caught on to me because she comes up to me and goes "You're allowed to follow me," I was so started my mouth kinda just dropped open and i said "I'm not following you" and then she said "Oh I know. Of course you aren't. I'm just saying that you can. Go ahead." She was pissed to say the least. Needless to say I tried to stalk at a little more of a distance after that!
OK so incident #2 is rather similar... Two girls go into a fitting room, however the vicki's store policy is one per a room. SO, our manager knocks on the door and tells the girls that one of them has to get out of the room. However, i guess they're offended by our store policy because they proceeded to throw merchandise at my manager and swear at her and threaten to beat her up for thinking they were stealing. They then stormed out, and threw a pair of panties at me on their way. After that they huffed and puffed outside saying how they were going to "beat a bitch up"
Haha. Yeah, I knowww... at the store we got this new moisturizer and it is amazing. I want to buy some when i get my paycheck, but anyway its a foam/whip and it smells amazing because its the Beauty Rush line and duh, that stuff smells amazing. But get this, it tastes good too! ahaha, i love it because the Beauty Rush stuff always smells good enough to eat, now you can eat it, well kind of, not really, but you know what I mean.
Hm... So, I had quite an eventful friday at work. It all started when these two girls came in who apparently are frequent shoplifters, so lucky me, the CSL of the segment, Kate, decides she'll have me stalk them around the store so they don't take anything. I guess the one girl kind of caught on to me, well I know she caught on to me because she comes up to me and goes "You're allowed to follow me," I was so started my mouth kinda just dropped open and i said "I'm not following you" and then she said "Oh I know. Of course you aren't. I'm just saying that you can. Go ahead." She was pissed to say the least. Needless to say I tried to stalk at a little more of a distance after that!
OK so incident #2 is rather similar... Two girls go into a fitting room, however the vicki's store policy is one per a room. SO, our manager knocks on the door and tells the girls that one of them has to get out of the room. However, i guess they're offended by our store policy because they proceeded to throw merchandise at my manager and swear at her and threaten to beat her up for thinking they were stealing. They then stormed out, and threw a pair of panties at me on their way. After that they huffed and puffed outside saying how they were going to "beat a bitch up"
Haha. Yeah, I knowww... at the store we got this new moisturizer and it is amazing. I want to buy some when i get my paycheck, but anyway its a foam/whip and it smells amazing because its the Beauty Rush line and duh, that stuff smells amazing. But get this, it tastes good too! ahaha, i love it because the Beauty Rush stuff always smells good enough to eat, now you can eat it, well kind of, not really, but you know what I mean.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
First blog
So, at the recommendation of someone, i decided i would make a blog. I used to have one of these when i was in middle school. Actually, i still have it. I can't stand to part with it. It has over 500 entries in it. Granted, not all of them are actual entries, I would put in a lot of poems and song lyrics and things like that, but the majority of them are. Its kind of nice to be able to go back and see what i was thinking back then and remember things that happened in my life that i probably never would have remembered if i didn't read about it on there.
But anyway, I'm currently a newfound single in the dating world. Well... I guess newfound isn't appropriate to say, its been about 5 months now--which is almost 6 months--which is almost half a year, which i guess wouldn't be considered "newfound." But I guess the truth of the matter is, for me it is a newfound single-ness considering I haven't been single since...oh the 8th grade? At least, I haven't been single for more than a month since then, and lets be honest, a month isn't much time to experience the single life.
So here I am, being single and all of that and I'm not sure yet if I like it or not. Its kind of nice to not worry about anyone except myself for once, because in my last relationship I feel like i did a lot of catering to him and I didn't really think much about what I wanted.
However, while I like being able to just be concerned about myself for once, I miss being connected to someone in that kind of way. Being in love with someone is just an amazing thing. And i know this is a weird analogy, but you know how they say mother's always forget about the pain of childbirth and only remember the good moments, so they want to have more kids? Well... I think love is kind of the same way, no matter how many times you get hurt and your heart gets broken, you still want to do it again. Granted, after being hurt you may be a little more precautious, which is how I'm feeling.
I'm really hesitant to falling in love again. If it were to happen right now, I'd really need a guy to absolutely wow me, sweep me off my feet. You know? Because after getting hurt like I was, I need to know a guy is worth it because if I'm going to put myself in the position to get hurt again, I better be confident that he's worth it, which I don't think is too much to ask.
And yet again I've written way too much. I'm sorry, get used to it. I don't think I'm capable of writing anything that isn't painfully long. haha.Well, I guess we'll see how this blog thing goes. I'll try to write again soon.
But anyway, I'm currently a newfound single in the dating world. Well... I guess newfound isn't appropriate to say, its been about 5 months now--which is almost 6 months--which is almost half a year, which i guess wouldn't be considered "newfound." But I guess the truth of the matter is, for me it is a newfound single-ness considering I haven't been single since...oh the 8th grade? At least, I haven't been single for more than a month since then, and lets be honest, a month isn't much time to experience the single life.
So here I am, being single and all of that and I'm not sure yet if I like it or not. Its kind of nice to not worry about anyone except myself for once, because in my last relationship I feel like i did a lot of catering to him and I didn't really think much about what I wanted.
However, while I like being able to just be concerned about myself for once, I miss being connected to someone in that kind of way. Being in love with someone is just an amazing thing. And i know this is a weird analogy, but you know how they say mother's always forget about the pain of childbirth and only remember the good moments, so they want to have more kids? Well... I think love is kind of the same way, no matter how many times you get hurt and your heart gets broken, you still want to do it again. Granted, after being hurt you may be a little more precautious, which is how I'm feeling.
I'm really hesitant to falling in love again. If it were to happen right now, I'd really need a guy to absolutely wow me, sweep me off my feet. You know? Because after getting hurt like I was, I need to know a guy is worth it because if I'm going to put myself in the position to get hurt again, I better be confident that he's worth it, which I don't think is too much to ask.
And yet again I've written way too much. I'm sorry, get used to it. I don't think I'm capable of writing anything that isn't painfully long. haha.Well, I guess we'll see how this blog thing goes. I'll try to write again soon.
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