The Liz Piece

St. Patrick's Day

2009-03-17T09:11:00.000-04:00

saturday :)

2009-03-14T13:47:00.006-04:00

So blog world, it's Saturday, which is probably my favorite day of the week. A lot of people seem to be particularly fond of Sunday, because it's a day of relaxation because there isn't much to do, but for me, Sunday means I realize how much I procrastinated the week before and have to catch up on homework.

Saturday = I'm still in denial about what work I have to do(10) + happy Liz

I multiplied "I'm still in denial about what work I have to do" by 10 because I really, really am in denial and really, really have a lot of stuff to get done. But, don't ask me to figure out an equation anymore difficult than that. Math just isn't my thing. But, I guess that's why I'm a journalism major. Wall Street Journal knows what's up. Read this article here.

Anyways, obviously, I'm sitting here writing in my blog right now, but I'm also listening to my iTunes. And, I know you are so interested in my life, that you are wondering "Well, gee wiz, Liz. What are you listening to?"

I'm listening to Bowling for Soup- "You and Me." Bam. Sha-bam. flo-ham.

And in case you were also wondering, yes, I am bored.

So after having a little dispute with Ray last night I decided I need to learn a better way to channel my frustration. Whenever I get upset, the fact that I get upset overrules my ability to communicate effectively. I can't let this happen, because it leads to me getting more upset because Ray has no idea what the hell is going on and I can't effectively explain. It doesn't really happen that often, I feel like for the most part I'm easy-going. But sometimes, I just don't know what happens. I know I have to try to get better at that, and I really really want to, but it's not something that I can do with just the flip of a switch. It'll take time.

In other news, well, there isn't any other news. It's saturday, which is do nothing day, like I said before. So, I'm going to end this post now, and continue with my weekend.

WQED internship

2009-03-12T18:38:00.003-04:00

Ok. So, I haven't blogged in a pretty long while. In my defense I was busy right before spring break, and then during spring break I didn't have the time because I was away, and well, this week I have been fairly busy too!

So, I went to an interview today with WQED which is the pbs station in Pittsburgh. I applied for the OnQ internship where I'd be helping with the production of the nightly magazine show, OnQ. I think the interview went well, out of everything I've applied for, this is my top pick. I wanted to try something other than writing.

After the interview, they showed me the Mr. Rogers set. It was pretty sweet. It was cool to see the set because Mr. Rogers is a show I watched all of the time when I was growing up, and it's nice that a show like that is from Pittsburgh.

I was also shown the set of QED Cooks, and the host/cook of the show, Chris Fennimore was getting ready to tape while I took a peek! But, that wouldn't mean much to anyone that doesn't get WQED on their television.

Today there's a party at my apartment. It's the AKPsi Big/Little party. I only plan on sticking around until a little bit after lizzy gets done at work.

This weekend I have a lot of catching up to do for my Contributiong Editor internship with College Prowler. yay. :( But hopefully it isn't too bad.

I think this is a sufficient update for now. I will try to write again sooner than later!

my brother's band

2009-02-23T10:29:00.000-05:00

zero

2009-02-22T22:49:00.009-05:00

According to my Google Analytics, zero is the number of readers I've had on my blog for the past 3-4 days. If I were in elementary school, I'd be the creepy kid who talks to herself at recess and eats dirt. Not that I need a lot of people reading this, but it is nice to know people do!

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So, I was home this weekend. My dad is out of town, so my mom has the house to herself, well, she has my brother and our pet dog and cat, but none of them, not even my brother, make for good company.

On Friday, I went grocery shopping with my mom and watched the movie "Prom Night." She attempted to guess everything that was going to happen. Luckily, I've seen the movie before, so she didn't ruin anything for me lol

On Saturday, I woke up and showered. I had an amazing hair day. I don't know about anyone else, but if you are having a good hair day, you just have a good day in general. Bad hair = bad day.

I then made cupcakes. Delicious cupcakes. They were vanilla with vanilla frosting and green and red sprinkles (leftover from christmas, of course).
I ate about 6 cupcakes over the course of the weekend.

My brother had his first show with his band on Saturday. He did so well! I was really proud of him. I have videos on my camera, so I will try to post one in a future blog.

Throughout the weekend, I was also greeted, via text message, by various lovely photos of my favorite puppies in New York, Penny and Peanut.<3

On Sunday, I woke up and went to the mall with my mom. I purchased a sweater because I need more warm clothes. I'm hoping the more nice looking warm clothes I have the less inclined I will be to wear hoodies everyday (Um, nope I'll probably still wear hoodies everyday. Who am I kidding?)

In American Eagle they have the most amazingly cute spring clothes. It made me want spring to get here so I can feel cute again. I always feel so trashy in the winter, hence why I am trying to not wear hoodies everyday.

When I got home, I watched my mom wait for a radio contest to come on and she sang Taylor Swift while she waited. Then, she was disappointed to discover someone already won the contest. Please view sideways video below.

It was honestly, the 5th time we heard the same Taylor Swift song that day, and it was only 2 p.m.

I then decided i'd shower and get ready to hit the road. And that brings us to now. I'm back at SRU. I just need to get through my comm law midterm this week and then it's spring break time :) It is much needed.

Apples and Oranges

2009-02-20T21:15:00.003-05:00

Which internship do you think is more awesome?

WHIRL magazine

or City Paper?

Can i just do both?

my phone is dying

2009-02-20T18:12:00.004-05:00

I forgot my phone charger in my apartment! I'm home for the weekend and my phone is at one bar! Oh no :(

I took an amazing nap today and am about to eat buffalo chicken pizza :)

That is all i will say for now.

Oh, and ps- I love this pup and she loves me.

chillax girl

2009-02-19T10:03:00.001-05:00

Note to self:

Stop overreacting.

End note.

I'm a contributing contributor

2009-02-19T08:55:00.004-05:00

I got another internship at College Prowler. I am now a contributing editor in addition to a blogging intern. Sweet.

My job is to update the College Prowler student guidebook for SRU. So, if you go to SRU and are reading this, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE fill out this survey right here.

It will make my job a lot easier and the information I put in the book a lot more accurate!

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In other news, it was snowing this morning. What.is.up.with.that?
I was not happy.
Today is Office Night at the 12. I am excited.
This weekend I am going home to see my brother's band in a show. Please listen to their first recorded song called "Take it Slow."

So, I forgot to blog about my test results from my ultrasound. I still have five cysts on my left ovary, however my right ovary is okay now.

I am waiting to hear from my gyno still about what he wants to do.

Currently, I'm in a Comm computer lab, and this boy is listening/watching these musical-esque videos...but, they're singing things like Nelly- "It's Getting Hot in Here."

I'm not really sure whats going on.
Oh, he just turned it up louder. I guess he wanted all six of us in here to enjoy it with him.

I am getting so hot...I'm gonna take my clothes off right in this lab. oh yeahhh.

Oh, now he's watching the video of the asian lady freaking out in the airport. Ah, so funny.

But, still equally annoying to just hear the audio of. Please use headphones, sir. Thanks much.

Okay well I have a lot better things I should be doing rather than blogging, like school work related things, so maybe I should go do them.

Have a nice day.

Straws

2009-02-16T19:39:00.000-05:00

I love colored straws.

The End.

licorice love

2009-02-16T14:31:00.001-05:00

You know love is real when it's spelt out for you using a delicious treat.

Around the world

2009-02-15T14:17:00.003-05:00

Currently, my dad is on a business trip around the world. He's going to a bunch of different cities. Right now, he's traveling around India and driving in india is crazy.

weekends are at the end of the week

2009-02-15T13:22:00.006-05:00

I had a rather eventful weekend.

Friday- I drank my 32 oz of water for my ultrasound and thought my bladder was going to explode. Lucky me, the technician who did my scan told me it wasn't necessary to drink the water in the first place so I over-hydrated myself for nothing.

My right ovary is okay but my left ovary is still not so good.

Ray and I visited my mom at home and he showed her magic tricks. She officially loves him. Oh, and we ate amazing chicken fried rice.

We then went to the science center and watched a movie in the omnimax. It was pretty sweet.

I went out to a party that was busted by the cops and didn't have my ID. not sweet.

I made Ray find his valentine's present that was hidden in the 12. It took him 4.3 seconds, but I'm pretty sure he liked what I got him.

Ray gave me the softest bear in the history of bears. It's replaced him as my favorite thing to cuddle with. jk jk ray will always be #1. ahaha.

Saturday- I went out to get chinese with ray and we went to see "he's just not that into you." It was an enjoyable experience. it was a cute date.

The day ended with $1 pizzas, diet pop and Saturday Night Live.

Today- homework. homework. laundry. cleaning. homework. laundry. My week of procrastination has finally caught up with me.

There may be grocery shopping in the near future as well.

I love icicles

2009-02-12T13:00:00.009-05:00

Ray discovered this icicle and was kind enough to pull over and let me knock it down. Note shaky-ness of camera when Ray gets startled by the icicle falling.

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I call this photo "Ray Wishing He Was Never Born, But Loving Easy Money."

Look for it in a photo gallery soon along with other one of a kind photos of the Ray Miles Series "Why Can't People Understand My Wash as You Go Policy?", "Andy, Is This Your Coffee Cup?", and "Hey, I Didn't Know If You Needed Your Light On For The Heat To Work, But I Shut It Off For You."

Gross photo, beware

2009-02-10T16:36:00.005-05:00

Hello blog,
The countdown to my ultrasound continues. T-minus 3 days.

The outcome is truly a toss-up. I was sorting through my old photos, like I always do when I'm bored and came across a photo of my ovarian cysts I had when I was 16. I am warning you, this photo is gross, but I wanted to share. It's a little farther down the page in hopes it doesn't immediately startle you.

So, as you can see, there's my uterus and fallopian tubes chillin' out with some gigantic ovarian cysts.

If the ones they discovered haven't gone away, its more likely than not I have the exact same kind of cysts as I did before. But, they will not be that big, at all. More like centimeters.

I guess third time is the charm, maybe this time around my ovaries will learn to behave normally.

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In other news, it's almost Valentine's Day. I don't think there's anything going on. Ray doesn't really believe in the holiday, so it'll probably be like our usual saturdays. I wrote a college jolt post about how to celebrate Valentine's Day on a college budget. It should be posted on the site sometime this week, so you all will have to read it.

Day 2 of the new hair is going well. I attempted to tuck my hair into my hood this morning because it was raining, and was startled to find there was no hair to tuck into the hood.

I've been introduced to the world of Wegman's spiral macaroni and cheese and am officially in love. Once you go spiral, you can't go back.

The warm weather has made me happy the past couple days, but eventually the fact that it's accompanied by rain will upset me and I will be back to hating North Eastern US weather.

There's a new Friday the 13th movie. Is anyone else as happy about this as I am? I know they've redone this movie about 25 times and each one has been cheesy and tacky, but I can't help myself. I'm a sucker for a scary movie, even if it's horribly made.

Induction is tonight. It's going to be boring, but afterwards will be the usual Tuesday night sleepover at Ray's, which will not be boring.

There will be ice skating in the ARC tomorrow!!! I plan on attending. I've never skated on fake ice before. I'm sure it's not that fascinating, but it'll be one more thing to cross off on the list of things I want to do before I die.

Ok, well I'm hungry and should write a college jolt blog since I have the free time right now.

Comments are appreciated.

Have a nice day.

bye bye hairr

2009-02-09T23:01:00.005-05:00

So, today I got a haircut. I told the lady exactly how long I wanted it, but she decided to get creative and go much shorter. At first I was extremely distraught, then I decided it was okay and I would deal with it, and then I got a shower and dried and straightened it in world record time.

Now my haircut is my new bestfriend.

Take a look. (I apologize for the cell phone photo quality, poor lighting and odd face I am making)

My hair has not been this short since I was in the 7th grade. It will be probably a two weeks or so until I stop getting startled by my hair abruptly stopping when I brush it or try to put it in a ponytail.

Bailey was right, February is a wonderful month for haircuts. Especially when the cold weather makes you lazy and not want to deal with long locks.

Its been awhile

2009-02-06T20:23:00.011-05:00

First of all, if you aren't reading my college jolt blogs, you need to get on that.
The internship has been going very well, and I think I'm up to around 12 or so posts now so read and catch up. I have two seperate columns I write for the blogging site. I give dating advice/tips and also I have a more general, whatever I want to write about thing I do for it. So go see!

This summer, my ideal goal is to get an arts and entertainment internship with the City Paper in Pittsburgh. However, they only offer one internship during the summer, so the competition will be tough :( But I have a lot of clips, so maybe I'll have an advantage!

In other news, I was in buffalo yesterday with Ray while he judged a competition. I saw a lot of young girls involved in near death experiences. I'm sure Ray will blog all about it, and more people read his than read mine, so I'll just leave the details to him.

I wanted to see the city of Buffalo, but apparently, it doesn't exist. Instead I asked Ray to take me to the shore so I could see Lake Erie frozen and it was kind of creepy. I should have taken a picture of it, but I didn't think to at the time. It was just ice as far as you could see.

I wanted to walk out a little bit onto it, but Ray said no. I don't think he wanted to jump in after me if I fell through.
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I've been getting kind of freaked out lately by the fact that a year from now I will be approaching graduation. Graduating college is the biggest life change of a person's life in my opinion. I guess having your first child would perhaps be
equally, if not more life changing, but we'll just ignore that one for awhile. That's a little ways down the road lol

I refuse to be one of those people who graduate and work at a job that either doesn't require a degree, or just requires a degree in general. I don't want to seem cocky when I say this and I hope it doesn't come off the wrong way, but I know I can do better than that.

It's funny how when you're a little kid you have all of these dreams about what you want to do when you "grow up" and here I am on the brink of being grown up and I still don't know what I want to do, yet somehow, when I was 7-years-old, I had it figured out. I was going to be a marine biologist. Funny how things change. The thought of anything science-related now makes me cringe. I can't handle the detail and the crazy names they have for everything.

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On a related, yet separate note, this semester is going amazingly well. I know I said it before, but now that The Rocket isn't apart of my life, things are just so much better. I never realized exactly how much of my unhappiness and stress was related to the newspaper. Apparently, about 99% of it was Rocket related.

My classes are going really really well too so that adds to the joys of the semester.
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I love comments. Will someone comply with this plea of pathetic desperation and leave me one? Thanks. Have a nice day :)

love itt

2009-02-02T20:46:00.002-05:00

Does anyone else love these e-trade commercials?

I'm a sucker for talking babies.

life influences

2009-02-02T20:08:00.005-05:00

Everyone has those certain people they've encountered in their lives who help turn them into who they are. I'm not excluded from this. So I've decided I want to share with you some of the people who I feel who have made me who I am today.

Mr. Orr- I started writing when I was in 4th grade. I would write stories and draw illustrations for them. I'd make them like story books with a paragraph or two on a page with a picture. One day I decided to show my teacher my work and he told me I was a great writer. He laminated the pages of my story and bound them together for me and told me whatever stories I wrote after that, he'd do the same thing for.

I really believe that because of him, I began to love to write. He gave me that little push into a direction that I needed.

Mr. Schott- By the time I was in middle school, I knew I wanted to be a journalist. I took every media and writing class I could sign up for. By the time I made it to high school, I decided to take journalism I. At the time, I was on the fence about taking the next class, which was to write for the paper. When Mr. Schott saw I hadn't signed up for the next level of journalism classes, he told me I needed to and he went and fixed my schedule himself.

Joining the paper was a great experience. I won two journalism awards my first year on the paper, and was editor my second year and won another award. As editor of the paper, I really felt like I had found my place in my school. With over 400 students in my class, it was hard to stand out.

Even after talking me into joining the paper, Mr. Schott continued to influence me as a writer. He would constantly be encouraging and accept nothing less than my best effort.

Pap- My pap was also a big influence on my life. When I was younger, I was quiet and easy to forget about compared to my cousins who were always lively and talkative. A lot of my family members would show favoritism toward them. However, my pap always made sure to make me feel like I was just as good, if not better, than them. He'd always tell me how I was the smart one out of all my cousins and how I would be good at whatever I wanted to pursue in life.

After he died, I slowly started feel like I was getting further and further disconnected from that side of my family. He was the glue that held it all together. I also made a promise to myself to do as well as I could at school so I'd never feel like I let him down. I graduated high school with a 3.82 and in college, I've had three semesters of 4.0s and have been on the dean's list every semester. And although I do it for myself, a big part of me does it for him, too.

My Dad- My dad grew up in Shalercrest, and if you aren't familar with the area, it isn't the nicest housing. There's a photo to the right. He went to technical school for drafting during high school and got a job and moved into an apartment in Shalercrest with my mother a year or so later.

After realizing he didn't want to live in Shalercrest for the rest of his life and he wanted a stable job he could depend on, he decided to go to college. He took out loans on his own and went to school full time while my mom worked. While he was in school, when my parents were 24, I was born. My mom had to quit her job to take care of me, and my dad continued to go to school full-time. We lived off of food stamps and welfare. He never got more than one B a semester and eventually got his degree in Electrical Engineering.

Knowing what my dad went through throughout his college career really makes me appreciate my college experience and how lucky I am to not have to worry about the same things he did.

That's another reason I try hard in school. If my dad could get good grades in an electrical engineering major, with a wife and baby at home to worry about, I should be able to get good grades with my joke of a communication degree without really having anything major in my life to worry about.

I don't know what to call this one

2009-02-01T11:47:00.001-05:00

Sooo, lately I've been thinking about graduate school. It's hard not to think about it when it's all we talk about in junior seminar and my adviser finds a way to include the topic into every conversation we have.

If I went to graduate school, I'd probably want to go for something like design. But, I also really enjoy learning about different types of communication. In comm concepts, freshman year, there was a chapter or two about dyads, tryads and all the other forms of communication, I was just so fascinated and interested. If I could learn about that stuff on a graduate level, that'd be awesome. But what do you do with that kind of knowledge? I can't really think of any practical use for it.

So maybe that's not a good option.

The truth is, when I graduate, the last thing I'm going to want to do is go to more school. When I'm done at SRU, I kind of just want to move on with my life.

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In other news, my ultrasound is in about two weeks. Feb 13. It's all I think about. I just want to get it done! I want Ray to go with me because that's a long drive and I have to drink water on the way, too. And also, if surgery ends up being a positive, I'll need someone to drive while I'm crying lol

I'm not really sure why my ovaries hate me so much. I've always felt like I've taken as good of care of them as I could. I mean they are ovaries after all, so there's not really much you can do to hurt them.

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Oh, another thing I wanted to write about was how I went to see a magician with Ray and Andy at the union Thursday and it was amazing! I loved every second of it. There doesn't seem to be any realistic, logical explanation for anything he did. It was ridiculous.

And speaking of magic, Ray taught me a card trick the other day. Yayyy. I was going to try it on Casey, but I was too nervous. But I will try it on someone, sometime soon because it was sweet and people will think I have amazing magician skills.

Hm... I think that's all I have to say. Good byeee

snow and swimming

2009-01-28T21:29:00.008-05:00

Today started out like any other day. I woke up, wished I had more time to sleep, and clumsily stumbled out of bed to get ready for class.

There was a lot of ice, but not on the main roads. I was expecting to wake up to a frozen tundra, but it was mostly just slush, EVERYWHERE. Of course, my fellow classmates milked it for all it was worth, because atleast half of my 9 am class was missing.

I took a spanish test today. I know I missed atleast one. I forgot the "a" in buena for the phrase "buena salud." Oh well.

After Spanish, I went to Ray's, ate easy mac and took a nap. When I woke up, my car was covered in about 4 inches of snow. Lovely. Around 3:30, after I un-burried (is that a word?) my car, I tried to back out, and of course my lovely bug was stuck. That car is so low to the ground. So Ray had to push it out while I went in reverse and the poor boy got muddy slush all over him.

For dinner, I ate spaghetti and ravioli at Marlene's with Bailey, Lizzy, Monica and Marlene. Then after discussing traumatizing dog encounters, I mentioned how I wanted to swim and Bailey and Marlene agreed. Lizzy was hesitant, but gave in to the peer pressure :)

So off we went, to the ARC. While talking about swimming and on the way there we discussed how the pool would probably be empty, like it usually was. However, when we arrived it was a Sig Tau and DZ mixer! Yes!!!

So, we hung out in the deep end while the Sig Taus and DZ played an awful game of keep the ball up. We had a swimming contest, did exercises and played with a pool noodle.

The creepy lifeguard I met the last time I swam was there too. I was happy to see him using the exact same lines on every girl in the swimming pool. "Is the water warm enough for you?" I wonder if a girl said "no," he'd magically be able to turn up the heat somehow. I'm guessing not. I don't think lifeguards have that kind of pull.

Now, I am about to go to sleep. I have an 8 am tomorrow. I'm planning on waking up to a ton of lovely snow from which I will have to dig my car out of. I can't wait!

You can't say bangs on a plane! bang, b-bang, bang!

2009-01-27T09:45:00.010-05:00

I believe the worst part of being a child from the 80s-90s is the fact that whether you are male, or female, you probably had bangs. It's the most atrocious haircut I've ever experienced first-hand in my life. Bangs just aren't cool. Now that we are older, there are people who try to bring the bangs back. I'm sorry, it just isn't happening. That trend died for a reason.

When I was little, I had a bad case of the bangs, actually, I had a bad case of the bangs for about 16 years of my life. I was a strange child. I ate spiders, had to have constant access to my belly button, and was deathly afraid of getting my haircut by strangers. So, my mother, in an attempt to avoid traumatizing her daughter, would cut my hair herself, which ultimately, resulted in me having the worst haircut in the history of the world. My bangs were always crooked and went all the way back to my ears. About 95% of my hair was comprised of bangs.

I look back at photos of myself when I was little, and I wonder what people thought of my hair. "Oh, that poor little girl. Her mother mustn't be able to afford to get her a decent haircut." Which, in all reality, was relatively true, considering my father was a full-time student in college until I was four or five and my mother stayed at home with me. Hm...I never thought about that. It explains so much!

But, what I will never understand, is why I kept the bang-train rolling and never decided to grow my bangs out, or why my mother never decided to grow my bangs out when I was in elementary school. I must've liked them, or maybe I was too lazy. I'm going to go with lazy.

I remember trying to grow them out, but it was annoying. They'd get long and always be in my face and in my eyes, so I'd give in and get another haircut and be back at square one. Finally, when I was approximately 16 or 17 years old. I decided enough was enough. I already sounded like I was 12 and looked like I was 12. I didn't need the haircut to top it off.

So, the growing out process commenced. And within a 6 month time, I was bang-free...well, not totally, I rock the side-bang now, but it's much more acceptable.

I swear to myself I will never, ever let my daughter have bangs. Not even if they become cool again. When my daughter's hair starts to grow when she's a baby I will use every barrett, bow or bobby-pin possible to avoid getting lazy and just resorting to bangs. I will have bang-free toddlers. I will bet my life on it.

And that, my friends, is the story of the bangs that never should have been.

to be young and naive again

2009-01-26T19:16:00.007-05:00

Oh to be a junior. College has just been going so fast. I remember moving to SRU in Fall 2006. It was the scariest day of my life. I had never been anywhere, by myself for more than a weekend before. I was a naive, 18-year-old girl, taking on the college world. Little did I know, it would be the ride of my life.

I was looking through my hard drive today at all my old photos from when I was younger. It's mostly all summer before freshman year to now. Any pictures older than that are on my computer at home.

You forget about all the different things you do in life. That's why I love photos. They remind you of where you've been and what you've done. So for this entry. I've decided to post some different pics I found on my drive.
Dying Paige's hair
Sam's 20th Birthday
May Freshman yr
Lizzy's 19th Bday
Holding empty shot glasses lol
An old friend who went crazy
First SRU football game 06
Fyrst Seminar scavenger hunt
Football game
Original 4 freshman year roommates...and then there were two.

I'm a bar hopper.

2009-01-24T11:40:00.008-05:00

Ok, not really, but I did go to the bar last night. My third time being in a bar ever. Lauren, Brandon, Josh, Amanda DJ and I went to the lovely Route 8 establishment, Casey's.

And lucky us, it was Karaoke Night. Yay! So, Lauren, Josh and I decided to sing The Joker by the Steve Miller Band. And then later that night, when Josh was relatively completely gone, he sang Bohemian Rhapsody. And being the little videographer some people seem to think I am, I captured the moment. It started out decent...

And then some random guy and lauren joined josh and things just went south.

Around 1 a.m., there were maybe 10 people left in the whole place, 5 of which were us. There was this one couple that wouldn't stop doing Karaoke and the girl was so gone that when she'd hit those high notes, I think my ear drums broke. Then between songs, she'd dance, the most drunken dance I could imagine. She was attempting to grind on her boyfriend, but it didn't work out as well as I'm thinking she planned it to.

Tonight, I shall be enjoying the bar scene again. Except this time, I'm going to Sing, Sing at the Waterfront for Lauren's birthday with a bunch of her female family members. My mom may join also. It should be fun! I will be sure to write something about it.

Unrealistic standards

2009-01-18T01:53:00.006-05:00

Everyone has their flaws. Some more significant or obvious than others. I think my biggest flaw in my insecurity. I don't know if it's necessarily low self esteem, but that's probably what it is. I'd just rather not admit to it. insecurity sounds better to me for whatever reason. But it's not like it's even my fault. How can you feel good about yourself when you can't turn on the TV or even flip through your favorite girly magazine, without seeing amazingly beautiful girls?

It's not like I think I'm completely unfortunate looking. I'm decent, but I'm definitely one of those girls who looks through the magazines and instantly feels worthless. I'll watch the victoria's secret fashion show and instantly feel the desire to boycott food for a month. All those gorgeous, skinny, tall girls. And then I look at myself and think...well, my butt could be a little less massive, my boobs could stand to be a little bigger, and this fat I have on my sides here, I could do without that. My hair has too many split ends, my nose is a little too big. I wish I was a few inches taller, and why couldn't I have brown eyes, instead of blue?

I've come to terms with the fact that I'll never look like a girl in a magazine. I can't compete with movie stars, models or porn stars (even though I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want to with the latter). Guys are just exposed to so many beautiful women on a daily basis, it's not fair. How am I supposed to even begin to feel attractive when I know my boyfriend turns on the tv or goes on the computer and within minutes probably sees a couple dozen girls a million times better looking than me?

The world is a messed up place. It's like the media industry's goal is to make girls feel like shit about themselves, and it's working. Why do we have to put so much makeup on models and airbrush them to unrealistic standards. Why can't men just be happy with how women actually look. For example, Victoria's Secret supermodel, Adrianna Lima, is probably one of the most desired women in the world. But, do you know what she looks like without all of her makeup artists and hairstylists?

Before:

After:

I just have to keep reminding myself if I had personal trainers, a makeup artist, a hair stylist, and tons of money to spend on amazing clothes, I'd probably look good too. Too bad the male population doesn't realize that those girls they wish their girlfriends looked like, aren't as different from their girlfriends as they thought.

I can't stop

2009-01-14T13:40:00.002-05:00

I can't stop listening to Taylor Swift. It's like my guilty pleasure, but I'm not really sure if it's necessary to feel guilty for listening to her. Oh well. I guess I will just keep my Swift playlist on repeat for a couple more days...or weeks...

Hey Stephen
I know looks can be deceivin'
But I know I saw a light in you
And as we walked, we were talking
I didn't say half the things I wanted to

Of all the girls tossing rocks at your window
I'll be the one waiting there even when it's cold

Hey Stephen
Boy you might have me believin'
I don't always have to be alone

Cause I can't help it if you look like an angel
Can't help it if I wanna kiss you in the rain
So come feel this magic
I've been feelin' since I met you
Can't help it if there's no one else
I can't help myself

Hey Stephen
I've been holdin' back this feelin'
So I got some things to say to you
I've seen it all so I thought that
I'd never see nobody shine the way you do

The way you walk, way you talk
Way you say my name
It's beautiful, wonderful
Don't you ever change

Hey Stephen
Why are people always leaving?
I think you and I should stay the same

Cause I can't help it if you look like an angel
Can't help it if I wanna kiss you in the rain
So come feel this magic
I've been feelin' since I met you
Can't help it if there's no one else
I can't help myself

The dimmer the street lights
You're perfect for me
Why aren't you here tonight
I'm waiting alone now
So come on and come out and pull me near
Shine, shine, shine

Hey Stephen
I could give you fifty reasons why
I should be the one you choose
All those other girls, well, they're beautiful
But would they write a song for you? haha

I can't help it if you look like an angel
Can't help it if I wanna kiss you in the rain
So come feel this magic
I've been feelin' since I met you
Can't help it if there's no one else
I can't help myself
If you look like an angel
Can't help it if I wanna kiss you in the rain
So come feel this magic
I've been feelin' since I met you
Can't help it if there's no one else
I can't help myself

I'm a nerd

2009-01-12T19:15:00.003-05:00

I would just like to say the first day of classes went very well. I know it sounds super nerdy, but on the first day of every semester, I look over the syllabus of each of my classes and try to figure out which classes I think I can get an A in. I look at all the assignments and points and see which assignments I think I will struggle with, which will be easy, what I'm going to have to do first. blah blah blah. I'm so lame, I know.

Today was a good day with my obsessive examination of syllabi (is that plural for syllabus? I don't know). I believe I can get an A in all my MWF classes. I have junior seminar, research methods and spanish III. We will see how tomorrow goes. I have advanced reporting, comm law and comm age.

This semester I will be having 19 credits added to the good old DARS. Ah, graduation, please come sooner.

back home

2009-01-11T17:25:00.003-05:00

So, I'm back at SRU now. And was greeted by a lovely blizzard. Its nice to be back and I'm really thinking this is going to be a good semester for me for many reasons.

1.) Mainly, because there's no longer any Rocket in my life. That newspaper sucked the life right out of me. I'll no longer have to work with a certain anonymous person who went on power trips, didn't know how to work with people, and loved to leave me out of the loop on just about everything. But, lucky for me, this just means I can move on to bigger and better things.

2.) I have my internship with collegejolt.com and I can write on my own time, about whatever I want basically.

3.) I have a boyfriend. And he is amazing. And he's not just my boyfriend, he's my best friend. I never realized that such a thing existed in the world. Our relationship is above and beyond anything I could have hoped to be apart of.

4.) It's the end of my junior year. That means I'm getting so close to being done with school. I'd love to even graduate in the fall, but I don't know if that's in the cards for me or not. It feels good to know you are almost done. I love school. I love my friends. I love college life in general. But, I'm also ready to move on with my life. College is this awkward in between stage. It's such a minor part of your whole life experience, I'm kind of ready to just get out there and see what's next.

If only I could have shown myself a year ago that everything was going to be okay. It would have saved me a lot. But everything happens for a reason. Maybe I was so upset and depressed last spring so that I could really enjoy and appreciate the things that were to come into my life.

However, I do have an 8 a.m. tomorrow. ugh... Maybe this semester won't be so awesome after all. haha.

Sifl and Olly

2009-01-08T22:16:00.005-05:00

So, for some reason I decided to YouTube Sifl and Olly. I used to watch this puppet show all the time when I was little. The whole show was funny, but I was especially fond of a segment with a lovely sock puppet named, Chester. I know there are a lot of videos below, but just watch them. Each one is only a little over a minute, and it'd make my day.

Besides, your life won't be complete until you've experienced Chester.

saggy boobies

2009-01-07T18:38:00.011-05:00

Oh, if only I were kidding with that above image. That's really what it's like. Even more so, because I actually took that pic of myself while I was working and right after an uncomfortable experience like the one recreated by my artistic talent.

But, although it is kind of gross and awkward sometimes, victoria's secret is probably not that bad of a place to work as far as retail goes. What industry in retail has the potential to be more awkwardly hilarious than lingerie and see-through crotchless panties? None, my friend. Oh the stories those panties would tell if panties could talk...

----------
What has been apparent to me for some time now, is that being eco-friendly is trendy. I don't think I really like it. I'm all for saving the environment and efforts to keep our planet alive, but it's gotten to the point where it's the "cool" thing to do. And if you ask me, we should be doing it even if it isn't cool. I just want to know if people are being eco-concious because they care or they think it's the next trendy thing to do. What happens in 5 years when people are tired of wearing their keep it green t-shirts and carrying around their organic cotton shopping bags?

But, I guess it doesn't matter why they do it, right? As long as it gets done. If my air is cleaner and the world is a better place, what do I care if it's only due to trendy yuppies rather than actual concerned citizens?

Let's just hope this trend keeps treading.

As for myself, I've been green for sometime now. For example, this is me when I was out later today. I'm keepin' it green on the streets. I'm doing my part by driving one of the smallest cars known to man, while other assholes drive unnecessarily large Hummers. Even the color of my car supports the cause. I'm Green 4 Life yo...or until my car becomes too old and its time for a newbie.

No, but for real. Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, not because it's what's in, but because you want there to be a place for your great grand kids to live someday without being inside a bubble like the bubble boy. Because that would only be sweet for maybe an hour, and then that crap would suck.

Aruba, Bahama, come on pretty mama :)

2009-01-06T21:13:00.002-05:00

Ray and I are going to Aruba! Yay! July 11-18!
It's going to probably be the most amazing trip in the history of trips.

I know you are jealous. It was going to be with more people, but lizzy will now be visiting derek while he's studying in germany and lauren doesn't know where she will be this summer because of her internship.

But, I'm still open to anyone tagging along if they want! Our place sleeps 6, so the more the merrier.

--------
In other news, I worked today for 1.5 hours. I had an on-call shift 12-6, was awaken by my manager calling at 9 a.m., asking if I could work 10:30-2 instead. So, I woke up, went to work and was sent home.

Thanks for nothing Victoria's Secret. Thanks for nothing.

I'm off tomorrow, which doesn't mean much, because I usually am having a day off from work. I've made a wopping total of MAYBE $350 this break. What a waste of time.

Last night I watched Ferris Bueller's Day Off at Brandon's house and realized that my boyfriend is the modern day version of Ferris Bueller.

If I had to imagine a high school version of Ray, it'd strongly resemble this beloved 80's character.

I know this post is immediately after my previous one, but this one I attempted to post before and well, it just didn't work. I found it in my drafts and decided to try posting it again, and here it is!

Craigslist- m4w

2009-01-06T20:19:00.007-05:00

So, in my spare time I enjoy looking through the personal ads on Craigslist, and although I'm technically not on the market, I found some possible suiters. However, one young gentleman has stolen my heart.

Looking for Slave Girl to Collar- 28 (Pittsburgh)
I am an attractive, successful man who enjoys teaching the right woman how to submit her will to her master toward the ultimate goal of becoming her Lord's perfect slave.

I would love to meet the right young lady who wishes to explore her boundaries and push beyond them. Who is willing to learn how to submit and is interested in eventually moving from a consensual power exchange to a total power exchange relationship through the appropriate slave training.

If this interests you, you may email me and introduce yourself. Let's see how it goes from there.

I'm so in! Where do I sign up!??!?!

But, after I thought I found my prince charming, I found this lovely gentleman and I wasn't so sure anymore....

Piece of my rock hard cock- 35 (Brentwood)

Are you looking for a great piece of reality.Come on over for some rock hard goodness.I do not ever dissapoint.Check it out if you are hot,slender and love to engage in oral.You should have a great ass and at least a dozen different g strings and thongs.Leave a number.

Sounds HOTT.

And I promise this is the last one, because, well, you know that checklist you make when thinking about the characteristics of Mr. Right? Well, this guy fits the bill.

R U a Co*K Loving C*M crazed SL*T? Look here... - m4w - 36 (Lower Burrell )
for your next hot willing cock... I am a single WHITE male aged 36 living in the Lower Burrell area of Western PA... I seek the company for a woman of LEGAL age (18-50) that enjoys nothing more than stroking, licking, and SUCKING to completion, a nice warm throbbing cock... Heres the situation... I have had several women that tell me that they were really good at sucking cock, even one said that she could make me CUM in 2 minutes... thing is not one single woman has done so... I usually end up having to j/o myself, however most of them were good girls who knelt there and waited for me to give them my hot load on their face and lips... I have yet to find a woman that is true to her word, in being a "good" cock loving CUM crazed slut that will be ale to get me off... So are you or do you know of any ladies that really are as good as they say they are... Hmmmm Please let me know... If can make me CUM like you say you will be able to, I just might give your pussy a tongue lashing (in which I absolutely LOVE doing), that you wont forget... R U Game? Contact me ASAP... I hope to hear from you (Cock loving CUM crazed lil slut)!

OK, so in reality, after reading that, I was more scarred for life than anything else.

Maybe I will just keep the boyfriend I have after all. Craigslist makes it seem like good guys are truly a rare find. I better hold onto mine for dear life.

Awkward Turtle

2009-01-06T00:27:00.005-05:00

I had a many of a kind awkward turtle experience today.

For those who have been living under a rock and have no idea what I'm talking about. Let us inquire with the always truthful and factual source of information, Urban Dictionary.

1.) The animal mascot of an awkward moment.
Example: Oh my god, so I was talking to Becky about STDs and I forgot she had syphillis... it was mad awkward turtle

I didn't even make that amazing example of usage up, they gave that too me. Really. That's how amazing the urban dictionary is. So, if you aren't already on the wagon, I suggest you jump on.

Anyway, back to the point of this entry. I was at work today, and this boy I graduated with from high school comes in to the store, with who I would assume to be his girlfriend. I help her find some bras and get her into a fitting room. Then, from behind me I hear... "Don't you recognize me?"

Shit. This is already awkward and I haven't even turned around yet. Of course, the first thought to run through my mind is "Liz, you know you're not going to have the slightest idea who this person is, so try your best to pretend that you do."

Thankfully, when I turn around, I immediately recognize him and, praise the lord, I even remember his name! I had been so preoccupied helping his girlfriend, I didn't even look at the poor soul of a boyfriend who had to carry all her bags on her shopping adventure.

So, as I said, this boy went to high school with me. We weren't really even friends. He was friends with my ex boyfriend from...oh, 8th grade? and since then, I probably hadn't said more than 10 sentences to him.

Apparently, he was really up for some conversation and catching up. What made it even more awkward was the fact I was working the fitting room, so I couldn't have the usual awkward convo escape of "Oh, shucks. Look at the time! I got to go! BYEEE!" and he was stuck there as well, waiting patiently for his girlfriend to finish in the fitting room.

The conversation covered the basics. How is school? where do you go? How long have you worked here? When do your classes start? What is your major? Where do you want to move when you graduate?

So stereotypical. I probably could have scripted the entire conversation out before it even happened. And that same awkward conversation script could be used for every single encounter I have with a Shaler class of 2006 graduate, who I really didn't know that well, but for some reason wants to pretend to catch up.

Furthermore, the conversation was made even more awkward with periods of silence with nothing to say, not being able to understand what the other is asking, and the moment the girlfriend walks out of the fitting room and gives me funny looks for talking with her boyfriend the entire time she was in the fitting room.

But, then when I got home and attempted to google image "awkward turtle" for this post, I realized, that situation wasn't even that bad. There are things in this world that are far, far more awkward. And the term "awkward turtle" can be taken to a very literal, real level.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, THAT is an awkward turtle(s).

I made a discovery

2009-01-04T13:02:00.006-05:00

I just spent the last half hour reading xkcd webcomics and am in love. Thank you digg for this find.
Here are a few of my favorites.

And I could keep going with this because, to be honest, nearly every one i read was my favorite. This should be a sufficient sampling though.

-----------
In other news, I love how when managers don't use your on-call shifts, they act like they are doing something nice for you.
Me: Hi, LJ. It's Liz. I was just calling to see if you needed my on-call shift today.
LJ: You know what, Liz? Go ahead and have the day off!

What? Oh thanks... I guess. I'm only scheduled 4 hours this week and I was really hoping to keep it that way.

WhatEV.

In other related work news, there was an associate offer to get two $68 bras for $25. Of course I was all for that. The bra is pretty basic and comfortable, however the reason it is $68 is because it's supposed to firm your bust after 4 weeks of wearing it, with "complete rejuvenation" after 8 weeks. I'm sorry, a bra can do some amazing things for a woman, but actually changing the firmness of her chest area, is not one of them.

Yesterday was a family trip to my aunt's house. She lives an hour away in Butler. My Aunt LOVES games. Not that I don't like playing games with the family, but we play Pictionary, girls vs boys. Granted, this would be fine if my mother and my aunt weren't completely scatterbrained, and my dad and uncle weren't college educated geniuses.

My brother, of course, was his usual asshole self for this gathering. It's nice to see he doesn't pretend to be a nice, young gentlemen for anyone. He keeps it real. My cousin christina picked up the word "hanger," so Obv, she draws a hanger and we guess it right away. Then my brother has to of course say "I would have guessed abortion." My mother was, of course, appalled.

WHAT. REALLY. gah. So unnecessary. Yet, I guess also kind of hilarious if you ignore how gross it really is.

And that is all I will write for today, children. Until next time.

ahahaha

2009-01-04T01:34:00.001-05:00

Cop mistakes penis for gun - Watch more Free Videos

THE ray miles

2009-01-02T15:04:00.005-05:00

That's right. THE Ray Miles was here. He arrived Tuesday evening and I'm sad to say he just left a little over an hour ago.

On Tuesday night we went to wing night with some of my friends and then went to see "Yes Man" at The Mills. It wasn't really how I expected it to be, which was probably for the best because I wasn't expecting much. I thought it was pretty funny.

On New Years Eve, we attempted to find a salvation army store downtown. The mission failed miserably. We ended up at the Good Will on McKnight Rd. Ray ended up purchasing a plaid winter vest. It was a good find. We also went up to Ross Park Mall and found an interesting machine-type thing which we believe is supposed to help with your posture, but who knows if thats right. Here's the video below.

Afterwards, we went to try to find him some shoes at Burlington, but had no luck. All of this was just filler while we waited for the half price appetizers at Apple Bee's. And it was worth the wait, because it was amazing.

Then, we went home and took a much needed nap. It was so nice to get to snuggle up with him for those couple days. I don't think it gets any better. We then went to a party at my friend Tim's house. Um, it was an okay party I guess. As good as a party can get. It was nice to see familiar faces. But at the same time, most of the people there I wouldn't consider true friends. Just people I hang out with during the summer because no one better is around.

We stayed for maybe an hour and left for a party at my neighbor's house. I liked the party at my neighbor's much better. I probably should of just said forget the friends and hung out there the whole time instead.

I got my kiss at midnight... twice, because my mother wanted to catch it with the camera and forget to take the lens cap off.

New Years Day, we went to my gram's for dinner. Then we decided to go on a little adventure for a coffee shop with wifi and ended up getting sushi in the South Side. We then took a walk around the Point and froze to death. Then, we went home for awhile and Ray decided he needed some more half price appetizers so we went to Apple Bee's for round two and it was a great decision.

Then, this morning we were going to go to the museum, but instead, slept in. We decided we'd save the museum for another day.

It was so nice to finally get to see him again and I was sad to see him have to leave. Thankfully, we'll both be back at SRU next weekend, so it won't be long until I get to see him again!

I don't want to get too mushy on here, but I'm thankful for every day I get to spend with him. He just brings so much into my life, and now that he's such a major part of it, I don't know what I'd ever do without him.

So, I'm starting the new year with an amazing relationship, I'll be Rocket free, I have a new internship, and I'm going to try to learn a thing or two from Ray and become more confident in myself and the things I do. And I'm going to try not to stress about things as much.

Sounds like 2009 may shape up to be quite the year.

Semi Annual

2008-12-29T15:26:00.003-05:00

Thats right ladies and gentlemen. And I guess you can only assume I'd work the first day of the sale, for 6.5 hours, during the busiest part of the day. I was talking to Emily too much during my shift. Our sales lead separated us in the store. So after Emily was somewhere else, work was even more boring. The first couple hours were dead, then all of a sudden, it was a mad house. The lines stretched to eternity.

The sale was kind of weak, to be honest. There wasn't nearly as much stuff on sale as we usually have. On my 15 minute break, I bought a bagel and cream cheese from the coffee shop outside Nordstrom. Then after I ate it, I went and sat on a bench outside of Express and watched two repairmen attempt to fix the store's gate because it was closed and stuck. The old lady working the kiddy train ride small talked with me about how retail is awful and how she likes to work with kids. And she also made fun of the repairmen, because they were idiots.

And that is all i have to say about work.

Tonight I may or may not be going out with some friends. It all depends on if Lauren calls me. We'll see.
Tomorrow Ray Miles will be in the Greater Pittsburgh area until Friday. It will be amazing.

Other than that, my life hasn't been very eventful since my last post.
So we'll just keep this one short and sweet.

Until next time my faithful readers.

Let's go to the bar!

2008-12-28T11:32:00.005-05:00

So, I had a rather eventful day yesterday. Surprise, surprise.

I woke up and showered. Then I washed my car in shorts and flip flops. It was amazing.

Then, I went to Kohl's because my gram bought me a Kohl's giftcard for Christmas. Such a grandma thing to do. lol
I bought some things that the apartment was in need of.

Then I came back to some dinner that my dad made. Chicken and shrimp pieta? I think thats what he told me it was. It was good, just a little too spicy for me.

Then some of my dad's family came over. And surprisingly, my cousins danielle and dina also showed up. Danielle's on-again, off-again boyfriend was with her too. They stayed for maybe a little over an hour and left.

The highlight of my day, however, was going to the bar. Of all the bars in the area, my friends decided to go to this place called Fody's. The average age of anyone in that bar was maybe 45.

It was kind of funny in a way though, because this bar was right in the neighborhood I used to hang out in throughout high school. It was funny thinking how I used to be right across the street swimming, hanging out behind the A Plus, or whatever we would do.

We also met some interesting characters. Three in particular. Willy (who claims to be as good as Willy Nelson on guitar), Shaggy (who said we could kill people) and Bugsy (who literally could kill people because he was a boxer).

So, obv. those pictures, in order, are our lovely friends in all their drunken glory.

Willy wanted to "jam" with Josh. Apparently, at this bar, they let ppl come in and play music and Willy is a regular. Josh said he went to the bathroom and Willy was in the urinal next to him telling him how he wanted to jam, right here, right now.

Next, there was Shaggy. Immediately he took a liking to us because he told us we were his road dogs for life and if we ever need him, he'll be there. As he says this, his arm is creepily on my shoulder. He told me I was his little rock and roll girl.
Needless to say I was flattered and tempted to run away with him. He had "Etna" tattooed on his stomach. And I wish I was lying about that. For those who are unaware, Etna is a town in Shaler along the river. It's...um.... not the nicest part of Shaler. We'll just say that. lol

Lastly, was Bugsy. Obv. Rocco was the most fascinated with Bugsy. They both like getting in fights. It was a friendship made in heaven. Just so you know, Rocco is missing a piece of his ear from a fight he got in. No lie. I wish it was a lie, honestly. lol Bugsy gave Rocco fighting lessons right in the bar.

After all three encounters, my male friends urged me to never go to a bar alone. lol.

I have this video, but i'm not sure if it will work. If it does work, I'm sorry it's upside down lol

Oh I guess I'll talk about work some more

2008-12-27T11:56:00.002-05:00

Dear blog,
My lack of non-family related human contact continues. Each day I feel more and more like a loser. But all is well, I know once I'm back at SRU I will be on an overload of contact with college-age drama and rediculousness. When that time comes I'll wish I was back here again lol

So yesterday at work I was greeted first by traffic, then by cars creating their own parking spaces (yet somehow I pulled off the best parking space ever), and then by what I can only assume was millions of people in the mall. And I had a headache. It was looking to be such a great shift already.

Then I enter the store to see that an apparent pink panty tornado had struck the panty bar. I prayed to god that I wasn't zoned in pink.

But, once I was on the floor and asked Lauren where to go, of course she said pink.

I mostly walked around pretending to work. Not talking to anyone unless they asked me for help, pretending to help people when lauren walked in the room, and fixing the panty bar, one agonizing tray at a time.

I alwayys love when people see you fixing the panties, and then they come up to them and mess them up again right in front of you. It gets me everytime.

One thing I love about victoria's secret shoppers, is they think our bras have a lifetime warranty for some reason. This is probably the one thing that puzzles me the most.

I would never dream of bringing any article of clothing that I've worn and washed several times back to the store because there was a hole in it.

But all the time, women come in with worn and tattered bras that look like they've been through a shredder, expecting us to take them and give them a brand new bra in exchange. Where is the logic in that?

Oh well, I've officially decided this is the last time I'm working there. I know I've said that before, but I really mean it this time. And besides, during the summer I don't plan on being in pgh, so I will need to work somewhere else anyway.

Thanks for stopping by.
Hopefully one of these days there will be something more eventful going in my life than work. Ah, I could only hope.

Miss you Luke

2008-12-25T13:30:00.006-05:00

So, although it is Christmas, and today is supposed to be fun, happy and full of family, I can't help but be a little sad on this day.

Last year, on Christmas, my family's dog, Luke died from an undiscovered cancer that destroyed his heart. Coming home to find him dead in our dining room was without a doubt, the most traumatic thing I've ever been through and never, ever do I want to see my mother go through something like that again. Or my whole family for that matter.

My mom didn't eat or do anything for nearly two weeks. The day after Christmas I stayed in bed all day because I didn't want to go downstairs to see he wasn't there.

And even months after that, there'd be those moments where you'd forget for a mili-second that he died. When I'd have nothing but pizza crust and look for him to feed him it. When I'd walk downstairs in the night to get a drink and look for him so I wouldn't step on him. Or when I'd walk in the door from being out, waiting for him to run up and greet me.

Anyone who knew my dog, knew he wasn't just a pet, he was my little brother. And he was the kindest, sweetest dog you could ever imagine. And although he died much too soon, I can say, without a doubt in my mind, he lived a good life.

So, this post is for my snuggle buddy, my lukey-bukey. I miss you!

I never know what to title these things

2008-12-23T19:26:00.002-05:00

Okay, I'm pissed because I wrote a post and when I clicked to publish it, an error came up.

agh.

I will summarize what I wrote.
1.) I went to the mall and lunch at Chili's with Lizzy.
2.) Matt, Paul and DJ work at Chili's and thats so something they'd do.
3.) I'm going to my aunt's tomorrow for Christmas Eve and there will be a lot of traffic because its by Hartwood Acres light display.
4.) Christmas Day= dinner at my house with my aunt elaine, uncle mark, and cousins christina and matt. That is a usual family gathering compared to my boyfriend's 40 people.
5.) In the evening I'm going to a movie with Lauren, Brandon and other unknown ppl.
6.) I work Friday and Saturday.

The End.

Mucho Aburrido!@#$%^

2008-12-21T23:26:00.007-05:00

Okay, so I'm really really bored at home. Maybe you could tell from my plethora of blog posts in the month of December.

I just don't have a lot of friends from high school. I have Lauren. Thats pretty much it. I mean I talked to and hung out with other people, but Lauren is the only one I have kept contact with and has been worth keeping contact with. So the only time I really do anything is when Lauren is free, because we usually hang out with Brandon, who is her boyfriend, and whoever else is free. The people I hang out with when with them are my friends too, but not people I'd hang out with without Lauren. And they only call brandon really when stuff is going on, so that's the only way Lauren and I know when there's something to do.

Watev. I'm not planning on being in Shaler over the summer, so I just need to get through these next couple weeks.

PS- I got an internship with College Prowler as a blogger on College Jolt. Yay! I start in January with the new semester! I'm very excited. It should be a lot of fun and a good experience since the internet and blogging is becoming such a major part of the media world.

My favorite Things

2008-12-21T20:08:00.011-05:00

In No Particular Order...
1.) My cousin Samantha

2.) My sisters from another mister
3.) My boyfriend

4.) My puppy

5.) My el gato

6.)Snorkeling

7.) White Water Rafting
8.) My kitty umbrella (missing since 2007 :( )

9.) Naps
10.) Pgh at night
11.) My bff
12.) Lizzy squared

For Ray

2008-12-20T20:07:00.001-05:00

I really really do! But I will see you soon! Just a week more!

great grammy

2008-12-20T18:59:00.003-05:00

My great gram died this morning. She had been in the hospital for a few days. My mom said she was just too old and her body was shutting down.

She was probably the sweetest old lady I've ever met. She never complained about anything. I just tell myself her dying is for the best. She didn't really like the nursing home she was living at and once you get to a certain age, living is just too hard.

-----
I find out what my gyno wants to do about my cysts on Monday. My mom called and bugged them on Friday and the nurse said my gyno got my ultrasound results and I can call him on Monday. I need to talk to him about my fertility. Because that's my biggest concern. I guess we'll see!

Um so I didn't say I didn't want to work at all...

2008-12-18T23:39:00.005-05:00

So, considering it is the holiday season, the retail industry should be booming and have plenty of hours for their underpaid workers, but somehow, that assumption is wrong.

Granted I DID request off Sunday and Monday...and Tuesday morning to visit Ray, but that still leaves 4 days of availability during the week of Christmas, days before our biggest sale of the year, the Semi Annual...Um, so why am I not on the schedule Friday or Saturday? The busiest days during any week of the year let alone christmas week!? And why did they schedule me on Tuesday 11am-3pm when they approved my request off to only be available that day after 5. Hm, it's beyond me. So I only work Christmas Eve next week apparently. Whatev. I think I get time and a half. I better.

Maybe this happened for the same reason 3 different managers called me 5 times asking me when my seasonal start date was? Or maybe it's for the same reason I was rehired at $7.50/hr when I was getting paid $8 for the past two years?

I'm sure there's a logical explanation deep, deep down in the depths of somewhere. Maybe when I find the answer it will also help explain why we sell crotchless panties and refer to them as peek-a-boo panties...So inappropriate lol So much for VS trying to keep away from being too sexy...or trashy? It's all a matter of personal preference I suppose. lol Click Here

Positive Patty

2008-12-18T18:29:00.006-05:00

I have a lot to complain about right now, but I'm not going to do it.

On that note, work went well today.

Last night I went over Josh's with Lauren. There were maybe 5 of us there. We played cards and such. I only stayed for about two hours since I had to get my ultrasound done in the morning.

Days until I am in New York:

Three days please go fast. I need to be here.

And PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, don't let it be snowy. I know that's a lot to ask when you are traveling near a zillion giant lakes, but come on. PLEASE.

I miss my boy dearly. I can't wait to see him again. It's funny how you never realize how much you really depend on someone until they aren't there anymore. I feel so lost without him. :( When we are apart, I spend my time just looking forward until I'm with him again. And look how cute he is. Come on. Do I even have a choice not to miss him? Seriously.

More than anything, I'm just appreciating the fact that I'm at a point in my life where I can truly appreciate someone and have a mature relationship. And I can be with someone who isn't asshole. That's always nice, too. It's weird getting treated the way you are supposed to be treated in a relationship. I didn't know what I was missing.

----
So far this break has been pretty dull. I know it hasn't even been a week yet, but you can just tell this kinds of things. There's a goodwill themed party at Marlene's next friday. I hope I can go. As long as I don't have to work I'll be able to make it.

This is all I have to say for now. Sorry this post was so mushy and dull. Bad combo.
I will try to come up with something fascinating next time.

Got my gradez bia, bia

2008-12-17T12:13:00.003-05:00

I received three A's and two B's. I'll take it. I showed my mother, and her reaction?

"B's? What do you have B's in? I want to see A's!"

My brother barely got a 3.0 this grading period. He had two C's on his report card, but somehow, I'm the one whose grades disappoint the most. Go figure. The Dean's List just doesn't make parents happy like it used to.

10 reasons

2008-12-17T00:05:00.012-05:00

10 reasons I hate working at victoria's secret
1.) Credit Cards--I don't want to ask people to open them and people don't want to open them.

2.) Boyfriends, husbands, etc. Guys never know what size their lady friend is. This usually ends awkwardly with the male examining my breast size and saying "about your size" or some other comparison.

3.) Coupon ladies- When the coupon says "until supplies last" it means "until supplies last." So the answer to your question is yes, I know the coupon is still good for three more days, but we ran out three weeks ago.

4.) Crazy middle aged women- I'm sorry we are out of the bra in the size and color you want. I know you drove an hour just for this. No we can't ship it to you when it comes in and no we can't call you. call us in a few days. k. thx. bye.

5.) Teenage girls- who are you kidding? Mom only gave you $10 to go to the mall tonight. You can't afford anything here. Please step away from the panty table.

6.) Thongs- Why is it, no matter how many times i bunch, fold and tuck you little buggers, you are back to a mess in a matter of 3.5 seconds?

7.) When I politely ask you to please shop from the drawers below, i mean it. SHOP FROM THE DRAWERS BELOW. Why? Because I don't feel like having nightmares about panties tonight. See Below.

8.) Stop yelling into the headset. Not only can I hear you, but the customers within a 20 foot radius of me can hear you too.

9.) If you want me to tell you if a bra fits you okay, please make sure the bra is actually on you before you let me in the fitting room.

10.) Stop making me reach up the back of your shirt to tell you your bra size. Its just awkward.

Oh the joys of working with underwear.

Winter break

2008-12-16T12:07:00.005-05:00

So, I slept in until noon. I'm not really sure why or how I did that, but watev. I must've needed it. I usually always sleep in during breaks, but never usually until noon. 10ish is my usual wake-up time if i don't have anything to do early in the day.

Today I start work again. At the ever so lovely, victoria's secret. It wouldn't be so awful if it were the summer, but it's the holiday and people are crazy, panties are a mess, and go-backs are overflowing. Yuck. My boyfriend always tells me I shouldn't be working in retail, and he is right. In the words of Ronnie Rekowski... It sucks.

Speaking of my boyfriend. I miss him dearly. I'm driving up to see him this weekend and I can't wait. It's hard going from seeing someone every single day and then not see them at all. I'm so glad we hopefully won't have to do this again in the summer.

Being away from him just hurts too much :(

Read my cutie's blog here>> Ray Miles<3

sex is art? whuttt??

2008-12-15T23:49:00.004-05:00

According to my favorite website to steal images from, it is. gettyimages.com

I don't remember what I searched under creative images, but I swear it wasn't inappropriate and I got this. Um... so my conclusion... sex is artsy. Kinda?

And no Ray, that doesn't mean I don't mind you watching porn now. haha.

oh ovaries.

2008-12-15T21:17:00.001-05:00

When I am experiencing negative emotions, I like to vent. However, venting vocally, just doesn't always work out the way I want it. That's why, a lot of the time, I'll write. With writing, you can think out what exactly it is you are trying to express.

Or maybe it's just because I'm a writing major. eh. either way. This is going to be a long one.

So, as it seems, my ovaries hate me. I was diagnosed with bilateral mucinous cystadenoma when I was 16 years old. Which is a fancy word for a type of tumor that developed on both of my ovaries. Not to mention, i have an extremely rare case. See excerpt from surgeon's journal below:

"Bilateral mucinous cystadenoma of the ovary are extremely rare. They are among the largest tumors known. These mostly benign tumors usually manifest between the third and sixth decade of life. Mucinous cystadenomas account for 15% of all ovarian neoplasms and are found bilateral in only 2-3% of cases."

So, basically, I'm a freak of nature.

I thought everything was under control and I've been tumor-free for the past 4 years or so, but after going to the gynecologist today, it was discovered that there was something on my left ovary.

He was doing his usual, uncomfortable, awkward routine exam, and then i notice him checking my left side a lot and feeling around and making this "hmm..."-like face. And then I noticed it hurt when he'd be fiddling around on my left side and when he'd go to the right, I felt nothing. I immediately got nervous and blurted out "Did you find something?!" And indeed he did. He said it could be an adhesion, from all the surgeries I've had previously, a functional cyst that will go away on its own, or it could be another mucinous cystadenoma.

Adhesion. Not likely. I've been examined before and adhesions are scar tissue, so that sort of thing would have been found awhile ago. Functional cyst? Maybe. But, lets be honest, my ovaries don't seem to like to be normal, and I already had a tumor re-develop once, why not again?

So, I'm waiting to go to an ultrasound appointment 7:45 a.m. on Thursday. I hate ultrasounds. I hate drinking all that water and feeling like my bladder is going to explode and having a technician take her good old time pushing on my already full bladder. Agh.

Its just like a re-occurring nightmare. When i first had my tumors discovered, it was the scariest time in my life.

Imagine going to a doctor because your stomach sticks out a little, her telling you that you're spleen is probably just enlarged and you're fine and then going to an ultrasound and having a technician tell you she can't see any of your organs because there's a giant mass inside of you. Then getting told to go to the hospital immediately, get tons of tests and needles stuck into you. Then find out your doctor thinks your case is so bad he wants to operate on you TOMORROW and have you stay the night. Oh, and have a severe cold, but they want to operate anyway, meanwhile the boy you met in the waiting room can't have surgery because he has a rash, a RASH. Oh and don't forget, it just might be cancer too.

Needless to say, i was freaking out.

But it doesn't even stop there. So, i'm in surgery, and this is my first surgery ever. They wheel me into the operating room, make me slide myself onto the cold steel operating table and finally, put me under. I wake up to hear mumblings of "two cysts" and when i finally gain enough consciousness, i plead with my mom to tell me what's going on and surprise I have one ovary, another cyst inside me and need to have surgery again in 6 weeks.

Then i get sick because I'm allergic to morphine and throw up. I don't suggest throwing up with a foot long incision on your stomach to anyone. Having to use stomach muscles that are held together with stitches isn't pleasant.

The only perk? I didn't have to take gym class the rest of the year. Yay.

And then a year after the second surgery is done and I am cyst-free, another one grows on my only ovary. I have one ovary and a cyst grows on it. All i could think about was if I'd ever be able to have kids. I needed that ovary. So, I have surgery again and they take it out and discover my other ovary regenerated itself, so I had two again. Maybe not two complete ovaries, but they were ovaries. Thank. God.

So, every time I go to the gyno all I think about is what I went through and how I just don't want to worry about my ovaries anymore. If I have another tumor, this will be surgery #4 and thats 4 surgeries too many. I want to be healthy and i want to make little babies someday. Not right now of course, but I want to be pregnant someday. Its honestly something I want more than being successful at my job, having money, or anything else. And I think the fact that my ovaries have been through so much, makes me want it even more. My biggest fear is that will be taken away from me. And if it is, I don't know what I'd do. :(

<3

2008-11-15T17:57:00.000-05:00

OK, so. blog. Whats up. Um... Ray always comments on how I never update. So here I am. I'm updating.

Ray, I love you.

The End. :)

i hate the rocket

2008-09-29T13:50:00.000-04:00

So, I decided to write in my blog.

I know its been awhile, but I'm not used to this whole blogging idea. I used to have an online diary when I was younger. I wrote in it 2002-2004 and wrote somewhere around 500 entries in it. Having something like that is kind of nice. I get to read things I wrote when I was younger and I read about things I probably would've forgotten all about if I hadn't documented it in that way.

Anyway, I'm at The Rocket right now. My favorite place in the world. I wish sarcasm could be transmitted through text.

I'm waiting for the weekly meeting to start and i get to hear Brandon point out all the things wrong with the paper, or at least just wrong with my section since he hates me more than anything. OK, so maybe he doesn't just pick on my section, but sometimes it seems that way.

This just happened
Rizzo: its 2 are we going to get started?
Brandon: I have 1:56. We work on my time.

Really? Comments like that make me hate my life.

I'm so glad that there's such a thing as fall break. Next week there's no Rocket issue. Its going to be the best week of my life. I can't wait to get away from all of this bullshit for a week and have a real life.

After that, we only have two issues and then we have another week off to go to Kansas City. I don't even want to go. Brandon Fox, Liz Glazier, Josh Rizzo, Dr. Harry, Dr. Zeltner and I. What a fun trip this will be. yippee. And its over Halloween. I love halloween, its my favorite holiday and I'm going to miss it!!! I'm so mad and to make it worse, Halloween is on a Friday. gah.

I told samm we have to have a halloween party at our apartment before I leave so I don't miss out on the holiday entirely.

dfghjkl

2008-07-13T19:38:00.001-04:00

blah i had something written in here but i changed my mind.

Julie, Andrea & Penguins!

2008-06-04T11:50:00.000-04:00

Ok so Im getting very anxious now about going to north carolina to see Julie and Andrea. Its been two years since I've seen them. I grew up with these girls. I've been friends with julie since I was 6 years old and I remember the day andrea was born. We grew up together and the day they moved was one of the saddest days of my life. I really feel like they had a huge impact on the person I am today. Ahhhh I just want to go right now!

In other news, I don't think i ever wrote in here that I have mono, but well yeah I do. But anway, I don't feel sick at all. I'm a little stuffy sometimes, but nothing that i usually don't have because of allergies or something like that. I am a little more tired than usual too, but even that isn't that bad.

Oh and how bout dem pens?!?! Haha. I'm sooo excited that they've made it this far. They're really fighting with all they have. Theyre at the end of the rope and don't have any room to mess up. It has me on the edge of my seat. I'm so nervous for them. If they don't win, I'll be so heartbroken. They honestly deserve to win, especially after Monday night's game. They didn't give up and Fleury, dear lord Fleury, the goalie gods were on his side that night. Thats my boy. Some of the saves he made, made my heart skip a beat.

And then on top of that, Ryan Malone got a puck to the face and then no more than 10 minutes later he's back on the ice, crooked, bloody nose and all. Now if they isn't determination, I don't know what is. Then we lost Sergei Gonchar too. I mean they had a lot of obstacles to overcome, and thats not even looking at the fact that the Red Wings only had to win one more game to have the cup.

A minute left in the game, they show a guy taking out the cup and cleaning it, basically saying the game is over and the Red Wings are locked in, but noooo that boy should of put that cup back in the box, because the Pens weren't going to give the Red Wings the win that easily. ahhhh. Penguins I love you, every little Penguin bone in your bodies. Game 6 tonight and I will either be downtown at the mellon arena or watching it here at the house. Either way, there's no way I'm not watching this game.

the spill canvas

2008-06-03T12:49:00.000-04:00

Ok. I'm officially extremely upset. The Spill Canvas will be at Mr. Smalls in Millvale tonight, seriously 5 minutes from my house and i have no one to go with me.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. Im very tempted to just go by myself even if it makes me look like a huge loser.

come home!!!!

2008-06-01T19:52:00.000-04:00

I just wanted to say I miss my boyfriend. :(

The End.

2008-05-30T22:18:00.000-04:00

Hey yo.

So, as of May 28, I am no longer a member of the single world. What are my feeling on this? Well, considering my extremely pessimistic thoughts on relationships and boys all throughout the spring semester, i see this as huge, major breakthrough. One I am very happy and excited for. The only downside is the seperation issue that will be going on throughout the summer. I'll see him at the end of June when he comes home from an internship, and then most likely July 17th (i think?) when Lizzy and I and some other people go up to Canada. But any other times I see him are up in the air as of now. I'll probably see him atleast once when I go with Lizzy to Derek's lake house in NY. Its going to be more than rough, I'm sure. But its not like he'd have anything to worry about. The only people in Shaler I talk to are huge potheads or possibly alcoholics. Yeah, I know why do I hang out with them? Well, when I was friends with them in high school they weren't like that, but now they're kind of all I have when I'm home.

But anyway, I guess we'll figure something out and until then I'll just miss him like crazy :(

:(

2008-05-29T22:02:00.000-04:00

ok so i am very sick and its no fun at all.

I want to feel better.

the end!

Hey Hey Hey

2008-05-22T17:55:00.000-04:00

Hello hello. I'm not really sure what I want to write about so lets just go with the flow of things and see where it takes me?

But anyway, on Tuesday i went to eat n park with Lauren and then we came back to my house and watched the movie Dan in Real Life. It didn't exactly have the kind of humor I thought it would, but it was good nonetheless. Every time Lauren and I hang out it seems like we have so much talking to do because we have to catch up on all those months during school where we didn't see eachother. When I'm home, she's basically the only close friend I have, which is kind of sad. I just didn't get close to many people in high school. I kind of switched around my friends a lot, I had trouble finding a place I belonged really. I kind of just hung out with and talked to a lot of random people. I didn't find anyone I really clicked with until i went to college.

So next week at work I only got scheduled 12-14 hours. Can someone please tell me how that happens? How do you go from 28 hours one week to 12 the next. That place will never make sense to me.

I've been thinking about getting a second job, but my goal of this summer was recovery, because the spring semester was just so awful, honestly some of the worst months I've ever had. I've never been so stressed, depressed and tired in all my life.

HOWEVER, despite how bad the semester was, ever since I've been home things have been so much better. Things actually started to get better near the end of April. I decided that I can't let the bad things that happen to me in my life get the best of me. I started eating better, I started going to the gym every day and making a conscious effort to get better. And by george its worked. I feel better than I have in the longest time. And come August I'm going to be ready to go back and get into the swing of things! :D

Not to mention there are a lot of things I have to be happy about right now in my life. I'm just so glad that things are starting to turn themselves right.

"After all these things I've learned
bad things I do and don't deserve
can easily just shape my life
or shape the way I start to die.

No, cause it's up to me
if I dwell much longer than I should
and I'll hold my tears for years thinkin' it's doing me good
so just start right now, just make a vow, you'll let your heart just sing it out, sing it out.

And show me everything you've gotI know you're scared
But let your walls just drop
You gotta take that step, and your heart, just let it pour out."
-The Rocket Summer

May 18

2008-05-18T22:18:00.001-04:00

So, this post will most likely be a shorty, but we'll see.

Today i went into work thinking I'd be there for a 4 hour shift and ended up being there for 9 hours. Yeah, not entirely sure how that happened, but to be honest, it wasn't really that bad.

After work on Tuesday Im going to dinner with Lauren. This makes me happy. Im not sure where we're going to go, but probably somewhere cheap because i'm poor untill i get paid on friday.

So, how about I'm really really excited to go see Julie and Andrea in Fayetteville, NC next month. I miss them so much. I haven't seen them for two years! I think we're going to drive to myrtle one day when I'm there, I love the beach!! :D

Ok so I told you this one would be short and I'm not going to let you call me a liar, so I'm done. Thats all I have to say for today :)

Work, work, work

2008-05-17T19:07:00.000-04:00

OK. so here who go entry 2.

Hm... So, I had quite an eventful friday at work. It all started when these two girls came in who apparently are frequent shoplifters, so lucky me, the CSL of the segment, Kate, decides she'll have me stalk them around the store so they don't take anything. I guess the one girl kind of caught on to me, well I know she caught on to me because she comes up to me and goes "You're allowed to follow me," I was so started my mouth kinda just dropped open and i said "I'm not following you" and then she said "Oh I know. Of course you aren't. I'm just saying that you can. Go ahead." She was pissed to say the least. Needless to say I tried to stalk at a little more of a distance after that!

OK so incident #2 is rather similar... Two girls go into a fitting room, however the vicki's store policy is one per a room. SO, our manager knocks on the door and tells the girls that one of them has to get out of the room. However, i guess they're offended by our store policy because they proceeded to throw merchandise at my manager and swear at her and threaten to beat her up for thinking they were stealing. They then stormed out, and threw a pair of panties at me on their way. After that they huffed and puffed outside saying how they were going to "beat a bitch up"

Haha. Yeah, I knowww... at the store we got this new moisturizer and it is amazing. I want to buy some when i get my paycheck, but anyway its a foam/whip and it smells amazing because its the Beauty Rush line and duh, that stuff smells amazing. But get this, it tastes good too! ahaha, i love it because the Beauty Rush stuff always smells good enough to eat, now you can eat it, well kind of, not really, but you know what I mean.

First blog

2008-05-14T00:43:00.000-04:00

So, at the recommendation of someone, i decided i would make a blog. I used to have one of these when i was in middle school. Actually, i still have it. I can't stand to part with it. It has over 500 entries in it. Granted, not all of them are actual entries, I would put in a lot of poems and song lyrics and things like that, but the majority of them are. Its kind of nice to be able to go back and see what i was thinking back then and remember things that happened in my life that i probably never would have remembered if i didn't read about it on there.

But anyway, I'm currently a newfound single in the dating world. Well... I guess newfound isn't appropriate to say, its been about 5 months now--which is almost 6 months--which is almost half a year, which i guess wouldn't be considered "newfound." But I guess the truth of the matter is, for me it is a newfound single-ness considering I haven't been single since...oh the 8th grade? At least, I haven't been single for more than a month since then, and lets be honest, a month isn't much time to experience the single life.

So here I am, being single and all of that and I'm not sure yet if I like it or not. Its kind of nice to not worry about anyone except myself for once, because in my last relationship I feel like i did a lot of catering to him and I didn't really think much about what I wanted.

However, while I like being able to just be concerned about myself for once, I miss being connected to someone in that kind of way. Being in love with someone is just an amazing thing. And i know this is a weird analogy, but you know how they say mother's always forget about the pain of childbirth and only remember the good moments, so they want to have more kids? Well... I think love is kind of the same way, no matter how many times you get hurt and your heart gets broken, you still want to do it again. Granted, after being hurt you may be a little more precautious, which is how I'm feeling.

I'm really hesitant to falling in love again. If it were to happen right now, I'd really need a guy to absolutely wow me, sweep me off my feet. You know? Because after getting hurt like I was, I need to know a guy is worth it because if I'm going to put myself in the position to get hurt again, I better be confident that he's worth it, which I don't think is too much to ask.

And yet again I've written way too much. I'm sorry, get used to it. I don't think I'm capable of writing anything that isn't painfully long. haha.Well, I guess we'll see how this blog thing goes. I'll try to write again soon.